


The Long Winter

by RamboBrite



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Eventual HEA, F/M, Groundhog Day AU, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Post TLJ Canonverse, Tags May Change, Time Loop, bendemption yall, but ben solo will be, but i'll try not to be graphic, but not for him, canonverse, force instruments for change, he's gonna be stuck for like ten years, i tried to be funny and it just comes out as angst, it's gonna be great, kylo ren isn't very nice, let's see how long before I bump the rating, retconning all of tros, ten years of self reflection seems like a good time to think about what you've done, the force gave him a timeout
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25823968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamboBrite/pseuds/RamboBrite
Summary: If the Supreme Leader had known what would happen the next day, perhaps he would have savored the unpredictability of this particular day more. As it was, he would later muse, there was no possible way that he could have known.---OrAfter an unfortunate incident involving a rare force artifact, Kylo Ren finds himself trapped in an infinite temporal loop. Rey is the only one who can release him, but he must earn her trust and prove himself before she'll agree.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6
Collections: Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers & Writers Prompt Exchange





	The Long Winter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GodspeedRebels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodspeedRebels/gifts).



> Hello! Filling my prompt for the Movie Exchange and I got Groundhog Day. So I'll try to keep this relatively lighthearted, but if I angst, I apologize. 
> 
> Heads up there will probably be mentions of suicide in this fic. I will give warnings in the chapters that I feature it and anytime it's mentioned as well. I don't think I'm going to make it nearly as graphic as the original Groundhog Day movie montage though. But the good news is, there is NO permanent Ben death in this. I don't plan on writing any fic that doesn't have a happy ending for our boy without SIGNIFICANT heads up (if I ever do such a thing to begin with). So hopefully y'all like what I put together!
> 
> I'm starting out with 6 chapters as a rough estimate. But that might change as I keep writing.

**DAY 0**

If the Supreme Leader had known what would happen the next day, perhaps he would have savored the unpredictability of this particular day more. As it was, he would later muse, there was no possible way that he  _ could _ have known. So, in that blissful ignorance he traveled to Rakata Prime in the Unknown Regions. He didn’t know  _ what  _ he would find there, but it was enough that the First Order had sighted one YT-1300 Corellian Freighter heading in that direction.

Kylo would follow up on any rumor, any whisper, any hint at this point. There was fire in his veins after Crait. No one knew what had  _ really  _ happened in the last moments before the Supremacy had been destroyed, but it was enough that  _ he  _ did. Using all of his newfound power as Supreme Leader, he had made finding  _ her _ a top priority and he would be damned if he let anyone else get to her first.

So now, he was touching down on the surface of Rakata Prime. He strode imperiously past the hunk of junk that sufficed as a ship and found himself at a temple. He’d been to many ancient temples in his tenure under Luke Skywalker (not that he usually deigned to remember it), but this one looked different somehow. Older. Wilder.

He might have been curious about the temple that looked as if it wanted nothing more than to be reclaimed by the surrounding jungle.  _ Might  _ have been, if he wasn’t here on a single-minded errand. There was something about this place that just…called to him. The carvings in the towering stone weren’t any form of basic that he could place, nor did they seem from his study to be any kind of Sith language. As far as he could see they were an amalgam of ancient and obsolete languages that would probably take him a lifetime to translate. But, all things considered, he didn’t really have the time or patience to do that today.

He could feel her here. Her presence in the force drew him like a moth to a flame. This close, he could probably find her with his eyes closed. She likely hadn’t expected an intrusion and so wasn’t bothering to mask her force signature from his senses. He wouldn’t make the same mistake.

Kylo Ren padded softly through the temple, twisting and turning as he searched the labyrinth. Rey might as well have had a tracking device on with how brightly she burned. As he emptied out into a cavernous room, he noticed for the first time that she wasn’t alone. He tried to mask the annoyance he felt at seeing the pilot and the traitor in her company. He’d been so preoccupied with finding the girl that any other presence had gone unnoticed. No bother, though, he could easily dispatch the two of them and that would leave him alone with her. There was still a dim part of him that hoped that she would join him. She’d make a powerful apprentice among…other things.  _ No _ , he shook himself out of that train of thought immediately.

He felt their notice on him just seconds before he heard the pilot, Poe, shout, “Rey, we got company.”

“I was hoping we might see each other again,” the traitor, FN-2187 snarled and gripped a blaster. Kylo rolled his eyes at the sight. It was practically laughable that they thought they even stood a chance. Kylo made eye contact with Rey though. It was the first time he’d actually  _ seen  _ her since Crait. They’d had the odd moment where the force had connected them in the intervening year, but she’d been stubborn and resolute about not speaking with him. He, for his part, had been similar. The anger at her rejection still stung if he was being quite honest (which if he was also being honest wasn’t something he particularly wanted to dwell too closely on). But now seeing her in person again brought about all of those same feelings he’d had when he’d asked her to join him. She had a fierceness about her that no bonding of their minds could truly replicate.

“I’m not here for you,” Kylo replied to the traitor, not even bothering to look at him. Normally, he might have relished the opportunity to snuff out treason and disloyalty. And to top it off, the defection of this  _ particular _ trooper had inspired a slew of problems for the Supreme Leader. But those problems could wait for a different day. Now his only focus was her, and she  _ knew  _ it.

“Finn, get back to the ship,” she said quietly, not taking her eyes off of him. They were already beginning to circle the chamber, like a moon revolving around a planet.

“Rey, no,” the traitor replied. “We’re not leaving you here alone with him.”

“You should listen to your friend,” he said, his gaze still locked on her large hazel eyes. They didn’t burn with hatred like he might have thought, but there was that aggression and intensity he remembered. She was lit with a searing fire that could so easily be turned to the dark. If only she’d let him. “We have unfinished business. You’ll only get in the way.”

He swallowed, his muscles tensed, and his mind was running wild with the anticipation. He’d actually…missed this. There was something about facing her in battle that truly made his blood sing. She was watching him as he circled like a Corellian dire-cat scenting prey. Beams of light fell over the cobbled stone floor as they continued to move, step by careful step. Her hands twitched at her side and he could see in his mind’s eye exactly how this would go.

“You have no business with her,” FN-2187 snarled. 

He could make out in his periphery the blaster coming up and then several things happened at once. He deflected two blaster bolts, Rey reached for her saber and he drew his as well. The blaster shots hit the crumbling walls of the temple, and there was the sickening sound of rock cracking above as dust flew up around them. He saw the yellow saber-staff slice through the thick cloud of grit and twisted away, igniting his weapon as he did so. He pulled up the wild red beam to deflect one of her blows.

Even now she fought with less of the elegance of a Jedi, and more of the desperate intensity of the Jakku scavenger protecting her haul. He advanced as the others very clearly retreated, calling out to Rey as they did so, “C’mon, Rey, that thing isn’t worth it.”

He whipped his attention to the box that she was carrying, and now it all made sense why she was at some forgotten temple on a remote planet. It was all too tempting to reach out and try to take it from her. At the heart of it, it didn’t really matter  _ what _ it was, but rather it mattered more that she wanted it. Kylo held his hand out and pulled at the object in her grasp. At first, on purest instinct, she tried to hold it tighter with just her hands, but then as if flexing a muscle, she gripped it with the force. And it was like the temple around them was no longer crumbling and shaking. It was just them, just like it had been in that throne room as they had each sought to claim his grandfather’s saber.

She swung out at him and he parried the blow, both still trying to concentrate on the box. They moved in time; their fighting almost as graceful as dancing. He would go to strike, never quite putting his full force into the blow and she would parry or skitter out of the way. All the while the box was still zooming about like a dog unsure of which master it should heed.

An earsplitting roar sounded overhead, and the crumbling structure began to tumble around them. She wasn’t paying attention to him anymore, distracted by the destruction, and he was too far in his strike to stop. She turned just in time, her eyes widened and like a shield the box whizzed in front of her taking the force of his downward swing.

His saber cut through it like butter, but it was like a current went up through his weapon, freezing him in place as it shocked his entire system. He sank to one knee, unsure of  _ what  _ had just happened to him. 

**DAY 1**

_ BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

Kylo opened his eyes and immediately shut them again as the noise of the droid in his room woke him up. He groaned and curled himself under the covers, willing the kriffing machine to leave. He hadn’t slept well the night before. He’d returned late the previous night and had had only enough wherewithal to apply bacta to his wounds from the temple before going into his quarters and practically collapsing. Of course, General Hux had tried to ascertain precisely  _ where  _ the Supreme Leader had been and why he had come back looking a bit worse for wear. Kylo had told Hux that it was a matter of little concern to him; any further explanation had quite frankly been beyond his capabilities. Kylo thought perhaps that he’d probably hear about it today, but he was drained, completely and utterly spent after the fight at the temple. Even now he still felt off-kilter somehow, his normally strong constitution feeling tenuous at best.

_ BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! SCREEEEEEE _

Kylo could no longer ignore the blasted droid and furrowed his brow in frustration as he spied it, moving about his quarters, or at least attempting to. It had gotten stuck between the table and the chair and was now dragging the chair along the floor of his room in an effort to escape. Which caused the legs of the chair to squeal in protest. Any hope of deferring the start of his day were now dashed, and he rolled out of bed. He thought seriously for a moment about hurling the droid from his quarters but decided against it and merely moved the chair roughly to free the robot. It made a pleased track around him, like a loth-cat rubbing against its owners’ legs, but Kylo merely growled, “Get. Out…Now.” Seeing that it had overstayed its welcome, the little droid left post-haste.

Kylo stretched with a grunt and took off his crumpled, sleep worn overshirt. A glance at the time told him that there was at least an hour before he needed to go to the bridge and start his day as the  _ Supreme Leader. _ That meant that he had an hour to just be…Kylo Ren. He’d use the time wisely. A quick training session would probably be just what he needed to clear his mind and prepare him for the day ahead.

Kylo padded to the adjoining training room and closed the door behind him. The silence in the soundproofed room was refreshing after the noise the droid had made. He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind to feel the force surrounding him. He could feel the life that teemed on the First Order ship, could feel the dark lapping at his mind, irascible and volatile. It suited him.

Attuned to his presence, the blaster droids came alive, and Kylo could feel them as they swirled lazily about the room, large bees ready to sting at the slightest provocation. He was unarmed, or at least as unarmed as someone who has mastered the force can be. The first few shots he merely deflected, wielding the force much like someone might stretch a muscle. He wasn’t aiming to destroy…yet.

His thoughts wandered to the previous day. The temple. The scavenger. Rey. Everything felt...blurred. Each memory bled together like wet ink spilled on a page, no substantial form or shape. He had vague, fleeting recollections about escaping the wreckage. He had been hauled onto a slim shoulder, dragged bodily through the crumbling maze. And then— His concentration, normally as sharp as the edge of a blade, wavered for just a moment and a moment was all it took for the droid to graze his arm. The blaster fire stung, leaving an angry welt on his shoulder, and Kylo pulled the fire from within himself in response. Pain had always been his greatest teacher, and this morning it would remind him to focus. He darted about the training room, redirecting blaster bolts in a frenzy. The droids picked up on his agitation, no longer idly floating about but now buzzing and whirring manically at this new tempo. He anticipated each shot and sent them careening back to the droids. His mind occasionally darted back to her face as she’d thrown him to the ground outside the ruined temple, the look of disdain and anger..and something else, etched in her features as she gave him one last parting gaze before fleeing. It stoked the flames of his anger and now he was no longer merely defending himself from the droids. 

He switched to an offensive tactic as if the droids were responsible for her reprehension of him. The blaster shots they fired at him were sent straight back, intensified through the force. They couldn’t shoot fast enough, and then Kylo was grabbing them, feeling out the weaknesses in their durasteel bodies. He could sense their mechanisms, overtaxed by this sudden exercise, whirring and moving. With a burst of energy, he reached out and felt them crumple as if they were composed of nothing more than sand. The durasteel made a sickening, wrenching noise in protest and then the droids fell to the floor with a crash.

Kylo opened his eyes to see smoke floating from the wreckage and regretted that he’d taken training too far…again. It wasn’t so much that he was upset on behalf of the droids, so much as now he’d need to requisition repairs. And with the general incompetence of half of the crew on this ship, who knew when his training room would be fully functional again. He grumbled internally as he stepped into the fresher and cleaned the sweat from himself.

He may have acted rashly, but the exercise had helped him clear his head a bit. At least now he felt some of his pent-up aggression from the day before receding. He washed quickly and toweled his hair off, stepping once more into his quarters where a tray had been neatly set on his table. He didn’t pay much attention to the flavor of the porridge, merely eating it as quickly as possible and washing it down with the bitter caf. He scrolled through the data pad that had been placed alongside the meal, flicking through his morning briefing and mused that the drink was likely going to be a necessity today. A budget meeting headed by Hux and his division, a review of Trooper regiment 4528, followed by appraisal of several new First Order initiatives. Riveting. He gazed out the viewport in his quarters, inky black space stretching on and on past the transparisteel and thought that he really hated politics. Somehow, despite his best intentions he’d gone from a man of action to the leader of the new state. Somehow, he’d gone from one extreme to the other. And it was all really because of her, wasn’t it?

He set the stylus down, leaving his tray for the next cleaning droid to handle and made his way to the bridge. He turned a corner sharply, still lost in his own thoughts, and ran directly into Lieutenant Mitaka. With a cry, the smaller man let scatter a dozen or more holopads. Kylo looked down his nose at him as he scrambled to pick them up from the floor.

“S-supreme Leader! My apologies, sir,” he stammered, looking flustered. Kylo’s brow furrowed, sensing fear and weakness in him.

“Tell me, Lieutenant,” Kylo said testily, “Do you have eyes?” The orbs in question filled with panic at the question. Mitaka gulped and nodded.

“And your limbs, all in working order?”

“Y-yes, sir,” Mitaka responded.

“Then I fail to see why you can’t avoid colliding with every person who is unfortunate enough to cross your path,” Kylo responded, delivering his most withering look. The smaller man shrunk visibly under the harsh gaze.

“I’m-I’m-I’m-“ he stammered.

“A problem with your voice as well?” Kylo taunted with daggers behind his eyes.

“No, sir,” Mitaka replied with a curt salute. “It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t,” Kylo replied, and walked away with a billow of his black cloak. This wasn’t the first time that he’d thought about maiming Mitaka but finding someone competent enough to replace him would involve more effort than Kylo was willing to spare. Better to lead with fear in this case.

Kylo stepped on the bridge and asked for the status report from the team assigned to find the girl. “Supreme Leader, we have nothing to report. The intelligence we gave you about the YT-1300 freighter was the last lead we had. There has been no chatter since.”

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose at the news that no one had apparently been looking for the escape of the rather recognizable ship. “You’re telling me that with all the resources of the First Order at your disposal, you’re still unable to find  _ one  _ little girl?”

“Sir, it’s possible they were using hyperspace skipping to evade our sensors,” Officer Tishra Kandia supplied, surprisingly calm in the face of Kylo Ren’s agitation.

“Light-speed skipping?” he mused, no small amount of irritation. “A fool’s gamble. Officer, I want our efforts  _ doubled _ to find them.”

“Yes, sir,” Kandia replied, briefly saluting him.

“Yes, Ren, I’m sure we have an abundance of resources to spare for your pet project,” he heard a drawl over his shoulder.

“General, I don’t believe I asked for your opinion,” Kylo responded, not deigning to turn and look at the man. He could sense anger bubbling up within Armitage Hux. It truly gave him a sense of pleasure to rile him, even now that no one, least of all Hux, dared to question his authority. “And that’s Supreme Leader.”

“Perhaps the  _ Supreme Leader _ would like to join us at the budget meeting then?” Hux said snidely, “I’m sure my opinions  _ there _ will be well warranted.” Kylo’s eyebrow twitched for a moment in irritation. If he didn’t have to sit through another long meeting going over the excruciating minutiae of running a new empire it would be too soon. For all his late teacher’s prodding that he had his father’s heart, it would appear that he was going to turn out exactly like his…No, don’t even think it.

He swept past Hux wordlessly, not giving him the satisfaction of a response and led the way to the High Command conference room. Striding to the head of the table, he sat down imperiously and looked at each member of the Supreme Council he had founded. They were all vipers, every last one of them. Kylo Ren was not a fool and had known that the moment he had selected each of them. But as long as they were trying to outdo each other, it meant that his reign was secure. They looked expectantly at him to start the meeting, and with a curt nod to Hux who sported a look like he’d sucked on an entire Roonan lemon, Kylo sat back in his chair.

“Now that our  _ esteemed _ Supreme Leader has joined us,” Hux started, and Kylo resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “I’d like to present our current quarterly projections.” Hux pulled up on the holo a series of spreadsheets and line by line expense reports. Kylo’s mind wandered during the proceedings, still fuming over his previous day’s failures. He tuned out the majority of the meeting, which given how he felt about listening to Hux wasn’t truly that difficult. He was only drawn back into the conversation when someone asked him a direct question.

He cleared his throat and tried to play it off, “You’ll need to speak up, General.”

“ _ Apologies,”  _ Hux replied, clearly aware of how little that Kylo had been paying attention, “I merely proposed that we focus our efforts on the more profitable worlds. The lesser planets will fall in line or risk their trade routes being cut off. Do we have your approval,  _ Supreme Leader _ ?”

Kylo Ren stared down Hux and steepled his fingers, “I’ll need to review the plans before I give full go ahead.”

“Of course,” Hux sneered. He snapped to one of his aides, waiting patiently along the wall of the council room. “We’ll see that the holopad is on your desk today for…review.”

“This meeting is adjourned then,” Kylo Ren stood up, impatient to leave and save face in front of the room full of snakes. The rest of his council shuffled and began to collect themselves. Before he could sweep from the room, someone caught his arm. He was quite ready to throw whoever had dared to touch him off quite violently when he noticed that it was General Engell. She looked up at him expectantly as he tugged his arm back. She was one of the few on the council that actually held him in esteem. All the same, she shouldn’t be so familiar with him. “Was there something you needed, General?”

She stepped back, clearing her throat and standing at attention, “Yes, sir. I wanted to confirm that you would still be inspecting the troops today. I think you will be quite pleased.”

Kylo noticed the eyes of the other Supreme Council members on him as he conversed with the overeager General. He let the silence linger before finally saying “I will consider it. I was led to believe that there would be a weapons demonstration.”

The older woman lit up slightly at the mention of the new trooper technology. “Of course, sir. Ever since I took leadership over the trooper program, we’ve been training them on the most state-of-the-art weaponry. You won’t be disappointed.”

As it turned out, disappointment was the overwhelming feeling he had at being held up by  _ hours  _ of training drills and exercises being performed for him. It was like watching a tribe of beek monkeys used to perform tricks on Coruscant. Still, General Engell looked on delightfully at each new round of maneuvers the troopers executed.

“Do they live up to your expectations, Supreme Leader?” Engell asked sycophantically.

Perhaps if he wasn’t already tired from a morning filled with meetings and protocol he might have endeavored to be kinder. But as it was his kindness was in short supply on the best of days, so Kylo merely looked on with a bored expression as he asked, “Is this really the best that the First Order can offer? I now understand why the Resistance continues to evade us.”

“Yes, sir,” Engell said, saluting him and falling back. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

“See that you do. I’ve had enough of my time wasted today,” he said, turning on his heel.

\---

He’d sought escape towards the end of the day, and found sanctuary in an empty training room. He unleashed his frustrations upon the line of dummies, dressed in orange jumpsuits. The only downside to using the common training area, however, (besides the stares from the troopers and anyone stupid enough to come to close to him) was that there was no hiding behind any real amount of privacy. And General Armitage Hux took full advantage of this, coming just close enough to disdainfully sneer, “Are you quite finished?”

Kylo let one of the training dummies drop to the floor, turning off the wild blade of his lightsaber and tucking it back on his belt. There was sweat collecting on his forehead as he turned to the tall man. He really was the biggest pain in the ass that Kylo had ever met. “That largely depends on whether what you have to say is more important.”

Hux’s nostrils flared slightly, but he responded snidely, “I’m sure that some are able to manage well enough with brute strength alone, but unfortunately for those few individuals, the First Order does not operate with the same flippant disregard for protocol.”

“I’d suggest you get to the point, General,” Kylo said, brow furrowing in impatience. “I’m even more tired of hearing you speak than usual.” His fingers twitched slightly at his side, and it wasn’t lost on Hux.

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” he replied, and there was a sheen of cold insolence in his eyes that didn’t match the sycophantic tone of his voice. “I merely wanted to inform you that there is urgent paperwork that needs your review. But I’m sure that you already knew that.” Kylo was really going to kill him one of these days. It would be far too easy, really. Just a flick of his hand and he’d be dashed against a wall by way of the force. He’d done it before, but he groused internally that Hux  _ did  _ have his uses. Occasionally. When he wasn’t spending his time being a pain in Kylo’s ass. That considered, he still wasn’t going to give Hux the satisfaction of seeing Kylo cowed to his whims. Even if those whims were for the good of the infant empire that the First Order was attempting to shape.

“I’m well aware of my responsibilities, General. What I’m not aware of is when I asked you to remind me,” he said, his voice low as he made eye contact. Brown into blue, one filled with fire, the other with ice. The ginger man was the first to break the stare, his cheeks flushing at being intimidated by Kylo Ren once more. He gave Kylo a curt nod to save face and then turned on his heel, leaving him alone once more.

Kylo’s heart really wasn’t into his moves anymore, but he lingered just long enough to make his point before packing up and heading back to his quarters. As promised, there was a large pile of holopads waiting for him on his arrival. Paperwork. It probably actually  _ would  _ be the death of him, Kylo mused. He’d probably drown in it and then Hux and the rest of the Supreme Council would dance gleefully on his grave. With a low noise in the back of his throat he sat, sulking slightly, at his desk and pulled one after the other in front of him. The words swam before him and his eyes glazed over slightly as he read through the proposals, each drier than the last. Eventually, he didn’t even bother, simply affixing his swooping signature at the bottom of each and setting it aside to be collected in the morning. The area behind his eyes stung slightly when he was finally finished, and he rubbed them with the heels of his palms to stifle the ache.

Sometime during the tedious onslaught of paperwork, a droid came and then left again, leaving food in its wake. Kylo moved to his table and took a mouthful of sustenance, his face turning down slightly. It had gone cold. He disdainfully ate the rest of the meal as quickly as possible, just trying to get it over with. He checked the time on his chrono, wondering if it was late enough that he could just retire and hope for better tomorrow. No such luck. If he tried to sleep now he’d likely toss and turn and be even more ill-suited to face the following day’s agenda than today.

A wild urge struck him then and he stood, looking around to make sure no errant droid had come into his chambers, before striding to the capsule where he kept it. With a hissing noise, the lock on the capsule released and he looked down at the mangled mask of his grandfather. He’d done this countless times, attempting to commune with the spirit of Darth Vader for guidance. He did it again, as if there would be a different result tonight. He reached out with the force, letting his mind commune with the dark. It was fruitless once more. “I keep calling,” he breathed out, trying to quell his own restless energy, “But you never answer, do you?” The mask was silent, merely staring at him with sightless eyes and no responding call. He wanted to coerce a reply from the cold durasteel but knew it would be in vain. He turned and aimed a strong kick at the corner of his bed, letting out a yell of frustration.

It was then that he saw her. She was shimmering slightly at the edges, like she always did whenever their minds were connected. She was watching him with a muted expression, her hazel eyes wary. He had been too preoccupied that he hadn’t even sensed her manifestation. There she was looking at him like she had in the forest, like she had when they’d first started to commune via this bond, and like she had the day before when she’d unceremoniously thrown him to the ground. There was anger there, and really just add it to the list of things he didn’t feel like dealing with today. And then there was something else in her eyes, something that was harder to place. “What?” he snapped at her, not bothering to reach out and sense at her feelings.

Whatever had been hovering behind those eyes other than her anger disappeared and she merely furrowed her brows. “Nothing. Breaking things again, I see. Not that it’s  _ that  _ surprising.” It was the most she’d said to him in nearly a year. She was making fun of him, and he could feel the resentment at her purposeful antagonism welling inside himself. He thought maybe the pointed silence was better after all.

But still. That nagging feeling, that look she gave him. His curiosity won out over his anger. “You saved me. Yesterday, at the temple.” It was a statement of fact and he watched as his words affected her, that look there only intensifying.

“I did,” she said simply, her voice at the very least not betraying her. “You probably don’t deserve it. But…”

“But what?” he pressed, finding the need to know growing and pushing any sense from his mind. He always ended up like this around her. She pushed him to make decisions that his rational mind would never fathom, and  _ he  _ was always stuck with the consequences.

“I couldn’t watch you die either.”

“And yet you still won’t join me,” he said, that bitter tone lacing his words like a poison. 

“No. I won’t,” she responded hotly, her hackles going up, the look all but disappearing in her eyes replaced with only anger. “I want nothing to do with Kylo Ren. Not then, not now, not  _ ever!” _ She purposely turned away from him, ticking down the seconds until the bond inevitably snapped shut once more.

“Fine. Go then. It’s what you do best!” Kylo yelled bitterly, but he was speaking to an empty room. He could feel her absence acutely when it happened, in stark contrast to his lack of notice for her appearance. He felt...disappointment and  _ that  _ really just made the storm cloud of his anger swell. With a final pulse of energy, he sent the stack of data pads careening into the wall, smashing several in his rage. He ripped his cloak and tunic off, not caring about the perpetual chill that constantly clung to the air of these ships. Kylo flung the discarded clothing into the corner of the room and deliberately lay on the bed, flinging the bed clothes over himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on The Twitter™ [here](https://twitter.com/_RamboBrite_). I post fanart, chapter announcements and other Reylo content.


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